The Search for Heroes
When your teens discuss their heroes, ask them what they admire about these people. Try to listen non-judgmentally. (If you criticize a hero, you teen may shut you out and not tell you any more.) Find out what makes this person a hero to your child. This will give you insight into your teens developing values. If you are concerned about the choice, gently question your child. Is he worried about the man’s history of drug abuse? How does he feel about the explicit or violent content of the music the man sings? In what ways does your teen want to be like him? Are there other areas of the person’s life your teen does not want to emulate? Find out if your child simply likes the talent or if he really wishes to become this person. Even as adults, we find ourselves wishing to be like a certain famous person, even though we know we wouldn’t really want to be that person exactly as he is.
Periodically point out others who make good heroes. Try to bring good role models into your child’s life. Help him to see that there are perfectly good heroes in real life throughout his family, his church, his school or his neighborhood. This will lessen the impact of televised heroes.
When one of my children was ten, an eighteen-year-old girl was chosen to teach my daughter’s church class over the summer. The girl was headed for college in the fall, but that summer made a tremendous impact on my daughter’s life. The girl had been head cheerleader, homecoming queen, student council member…she was one of the most popular girls in school. All the children in that class wanted to be her. Fortunately, the girl was an outstanding role model. One day my daughter told me after class that Katie told them she had never once lowered her standards in high school to be popular. She said that her personality had won her friends and that she hadn’t wanted the kinds of friends who would insist she wear immodest clothing or smoke or drink. I pointed out that I had been telling my daughter since she was three that she didn’t need immodest clothing to be popular. My daughter nodded and said, “Yes, but now that Katie said it’s true, I believe it!” Throughout the summer, we heard, “Katie says it’s important to study hard.” “Katie says
Latest Articles