Choices and Consequences
The scariest part of raising teenagers is knowing that their choices have consequences that can affect not only their own lives, but the lives of others for an eternity. As the child gets older, the choices become greater. Greater choices lead to greater consequences.
It is important to talk to teens about the power they have to make decisions. Teens like the idea of being old enough to make important decisions about their lives, but there are two important aspects of decision making that all teens need to understand.
First, all choices have consequences. The consequences might be positive, or they might be negative, but the teenager, although, able to choose a course of action, cannot choose the consequences of his choices. These result from the choices he makes. Secondly, he must understand that his choices seldom affect only him. Others will nearly always be affected by every choice he makes, both now and in the future, and they also may be unable to choose the consequences of his actions.
If you are holding family nights, this is an excellent lesson topic. If not, you can introduce the topic during daily conversation. Following is a sample family night lesson to use in teaching your teens about choices.
1. Display a poster saying, "This is my life, and I can do as I please with it." Ask your children to discuss this issue. Don't debate it with them, but simply listen and ask questions. This is when you will find out what they already know about this subject.
2. Suggest a game. Blindfold one or more children and tell them they will tour the house with a guide. Ask them if they trust the guide enough to do that. Let them try it out if you like. Then return, and tell them you are going to do it all over again, but this time, the guide can choose whether or not to give you safe directions for getting around. Do they still want to trust their guide? Point out that it is the guide's life and he can do as he chooses. He can choose to be a safe guide, or he can choose to make bad decisions and harm the person he is leading. Teens should be able to make the connection between the sign and the object of the lesson: We are free to make choices, but those choices can have negative effects on others.
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