Helping Teens Survive a Move

The first time we uprooted a teenager, we nearly lost our minds. "My life is over. I'll never have any friends ever again. I'll never again have fun. You've ruined everything." You know the routine. We have dramatic children and the oldest put on the drama in full force. The second time we uprooted a teen, the first one said, "I discovered things in Washington state I never would have discovered in California. Every place has something to offer." Unfortunately, we now had a second teen and she was the one whose life was over this time. My third child is pretty easy going, so we're hoping that if another move occurs, we'll be spared the drama!

Although moving is never easy for a busy and happy teenager (or even a busy and unhappy one) there are things you can do to make the transition less devastating. When we moved the first time, we contacted the local congregation of our church in advance and invited the leader of our daughter's church class to come for a visit before the first meeting. She wisely brought along a few girls who lived nearby. She also suggested that she pick up my daughter as well as the girls she had brought along and take them all to the first midweek youth meeting. This way, my daughter didn't have to walk into a building filled with strangers. She entered with a group of girls who naturally included her in what they were doing.

With email, it can be very easy to contact a church or youth group in your new home-or even the school-and help your teen make contacts before ever arriving. Simply contact the group and ask them to email notes of welcome to your child, telling them about themselves and the activities your teen will be able to look forward to. They can tell about the school and the fun things to do in the area. If your teen has a web page, they can go there to get an advance look at your teen.

Do some research with your teens. Find out what is in the area that your teen will enjoy. Is there something there that they can't get in their local area? Most towns have web pages these days that give you lots of information. Check out the nearest big city as well. In our research, we discovered the Art Institute of Chicago, the largest mall in our state (very close to home) and of course, the nearby amusement park. A map showed lots of lakes, important to a family from Washington state. Take pictures of the new home, particularly the children's bedrooms. Include pictures of the neighborhood, the schools and any cute boys you see on the block.

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