Parenting the New Driver

I once had a friend who called every person she knew and told them her son had just gotten his driver's license. She described his car and handed out his license plate number. She then asked them to call her whenever they saw her son driving and let her know how he was doing. She told her son that forty or fifty gossipy people were watching his driving habits and reporting back to her. If she received any reports of reckless driving, the license would be suspended and the car taken away. She never had any trouble with him at all!

I started preparing for the driving days when my children were first old enough to go bike-riding without me. I told them that I would periodically get into my car and go check on them. If they were riding unsafely, or riding without a helmet, they would lose their bikes for a week. Each time they were caught, the penalty time doubled. I had to enforce the rule once, and then they knew I meant it. When they get behind the wheel, they will have no doubts: I will be spying and my friends will be spying. They know I take car safety even more seriously than bike safety.

The trick to starting your licensed driver off right is to plan ahead and maintain control. Don't give your children a car. Provide one for their use if you must, but maintain ownership of it. If you own it, you can take it away. Put down limitations on its use.

If your state does not have a graduated license, create one of your own. Studies show that the more people there are in a teen's car, the more likely he is to get into an accident. Don't let your new driver transport friends until he has plenty of experience. The experience required to get your license is not the same experience required to handle every difficult situation. A teen is likely to become distracted by friends, or may be pressured into doing something he would not do if he were alone. Until he has driven a great deal, make him drive alone or with you. Even after he is allowed to transport friends, limit the number, and if your teen has any friends with questionable driving habits, don't let your teen drive with them. Those are the friends who will have a negative influence on your teen's driving. It should go without saying-but say it anyway, loudly and often- that driving while intoxicated will result in a loss of license as long as he is under your roof. There must be NO tolerance for drinking and driving.

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