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To help children understand the rules, you may need to listen to their current CD collection with them. If you don't understand the words or the slang, ask your teens to explain them to you. Ask them to tell you what the song is saying: What is the message? Then discuss the message, the words and the language together and ask them to consider if this is really a message they want lodged in their brains. If they tell you they don't really listen to the words, tell them their subconscious does listen and register the message, even if they don't notice it consciously. Decide what to do about the music you both decide is inappropriate. Perhaps you can allocate some money to buy new music that will replace the old music. You may not replace every CD with a new one, but you can perhaps agree to purchase five now, and five more over the next three months if your teens agree not to purchase any more inappropriate music while they are living in your home. If they violate the rule, they will have to reimburse you for the purchases. (Save your receipts and get the agreement in writing.)
The last step is to take a look at your own media choices. Do you own videos you have told your children are filthy and immoral? If you tell your children that filth lowers their value, then you must decide what it does to your own value. What messages are you sending to your children as you watch these videos? Is it time to make some changes in your own life?
Remember, you can talk all day without being heard, but your actions will always have an impact.
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