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How to Silence Your Child's Inner Critic - Page 2

© Marie Magdala Roker

Help your child to develop powerful self-talk. Helping your child to develop powerful self-talk takes time and practice. This is a tool that is useful for parents too! It is very easy for us to name our weaknesses or to recognize our limiting beliefs. However, it takes time for us to identify our strengths and potential. Try this exercise: Ask you child to tell you five things he/she believes is a weakness or something he/she is not good at. Time how long it take for them to respond. Next, ask five things he/she knows is a strength or something he/she is good at. Time how long it takes for a response again. Most children who have a healthy self-esteem and practice powerful self-talk are able to tell you their strengths much quicker than their weaknesses. You can help your child nurture his/her strengths by brainstorming on strengths and helping your child to use his/her strengths more often. Make a list of all the strengths and post it on the wall, where your child can see it on a daily basis. Start to focus less on your child's weaknesses and more on their strengths.

Use your relaxation techniques with your child. Have your child practice deep breathing or use any other method that calms him/her down. For breathing exercises, have your child concentrate on his/her breathing and to visualize the air going in and out. Massage your child's head, neck and shoulders and loosen tight muscles. Use this opportunity for your child to open up and talk. If your child starts talking, just listen without interrupting.

Offer positive feedback. Listen to how your child explains what failure means to them. How does your child react when he/she fails a test or scores lower than expected? Find out what position your child takes on his/her accomplishments or failures. Don't rush to solve the problem or tell your child why he/she failed. Let your child use critical thinking skills to identify what is going on. If you notice your child making excuses or talking down to him/her self, make your child aware of it. Help your child to problem-solve by letting them talk and you listen.

Be a role model. Do you have a grasp on your inner critic? Does your child notice how you behave when your inner critic attacks? When you are disappointed or have failed at something, talk to your child about it. Be honest with your child about your own inner critic. Notice how you behave when your inner critic attacks and set the example for your child. Let your child see you demonstrating healthy ways of dealing with disappointment.

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