A Steady Rumble

There’s a sound rolling through my house. It doesn’t start out low, or gently lull you to sleep at night, like living next to the ocean. As a matter of fact I’d say it’s somewhere in between living next to a set of railroad tracks or very near an airport. No, it isn’t heavy machinery, though it is just as persistent and equally as hard to ignore.

In her search for vocal independence, my daughter has cast aside the traditional usage of the English language, such as those pesky vowels and strong consonants that finish a word. Instead she has opted for the hypnosis method, choosing to drone on and on in an endless string of babble until the recipient falls into a mindless stupor, completely under her will and control.

Okay, so maybe that’s a little harsh, but not by much I can assure you. Even though we have made every effort to help her articulate her words, she has decided that slow and steady does not win the race and her own reckless race through the alphabet will get her to her destination much faster. Naturally, I’m thrilled that she has finally taken an interest in speech and how important it is to communicate her thoughts and needs, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that watching her shred the English language to oblivion isn’t easy.

A typical evening usually involves her gathering every single baby doll she owns, lining them up, and then proceeding to launch into a tirade of verbal admonishments, usually punctuated by recognizable words like, “No!, No way!, and You sit now!” This lecture usually goes on, nonstop I might add, for a period of about an hour, sometimes longer. Then, she’ll sit down, hold each baby doll in turn, and say things like, “Aw, good baby. Love you. and Uh-oh you stinky.” Now, I know it sounds like she’s talking quite well, and she does when she chooses to. However, the key to that is when she “chooses” to and everything in between her choices is usually little more than babble. There are times I am inclined to wonder if somewhere in some obscure foreign village, deep in a rainforest, they would understand exactly what she is saying. The only reason I say that is because, although she doesn’t seem to make any sense when she speaks, she does use every vowel and consonant of the alphabet. The result is a constant hum heard throughout the house for several hours each evening. You can’t escape it, and even though we have tried asking her to take a break or quiet down a little, the lull only lasts about a minute and a half before the machinery gets pumping again.

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