A Mother's Worst Nightmare
doors, something she couldn’t poke at with a flyswatter, or climb to with a step.
I must say though, even with all the extra security, I still don’t feel safe. I agonize over how to keep her from escaping again. I’ve warned the school and we’re desperately trying to come up with a plan. How do you make a child afraid? How do you make a child see danger, when all they see is possibility and freedom? This experience has been one of the most painful in my life, second only to a night a few weeks after her heart surgery we thought she wouldn’t live through. I can’t begin to tell you how guilty I felt for not realizing she could unhook the first door, and turn the knob on the second door. I felt like the worst mother in the world and truthfully I’m still coming to terms with what happened.
The only thing I know for certain, is that we have to come up with a way to make her understand. There has to be a way to clip her little wings and keep her from wanting to explore the world with no one beside her. I’ve never given up on her yet, and this is certainly no time to start. We’ll find a way.
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