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Here She Comes

© Rachael Smith

Anyone who thinks children with Down Syndrome are always happy and compliant, needs to spend some time with my daughter. It’s become painfully obvious that she has entered that long feared stage in which children contradict virtually everything that is said to them, in an effort to discover just how far they can push “good ol’ mom” until smoke starts shooting out of her ears.

Yes, I know it’s a normal stage of development and in some ways I should be relieved that she’s staying on target developmentally. I’m not even going to touch that with a ten foot cattle prod. There’s almost always a chasm between the way I should feel and the way I usually do, this is most definitely no exception.

I knew it was getting bad, but I must have been sugar-coating it, until yesterday that is. Rather than have a full-blown melt down I turned away from my bright-eyed daughter, and went to another room to cool off. Okay, so that’s not so unusual, but when I had the overwhelming urge to go to my daughter and say “white” just to see if she would say “black”, I knew things had reached a critical stage, both with her and me.

I know I’ve dealt with issues like discipline and patience before, but this is something altogether different, something I can’t quite put a label on. How ironic, eh? This is some kind of strange tightrope between allowing a child to grow and learn, and teaching a child what is right and wrong, all without coming off like a drill sergeant.

If this is the point where you’re expecting me to offer some neat and tidy answer to this dilemma, this is the point at which you are going to be sorely disappointed. I have no idea how to walk this tightrope without wobbling around like a drunken idiot. The truth is, I’m completely grateful my mailman hasn’t peeked in the window and found me gagged and bound in the middle of the floor while my girls run around like lunatics. There really are days that I feel the control slipping away that far.

Worse yet, my daughter, the one who is supposed to be developmentally delayed, is not only enjoying herself, she’s rising to the occasion. I suppose in her own way she feels she asserting some kind of control. Since most people treat her like a toddler because of her size, I guess her strong will has found an outlet.

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