Do I Look Like I Need A Lecture?
After six years I still marvel at some of the things professionals do or say when it comes to my daughter. I have dealt with doctors who treated me as if I didn’t have the slightest clue and doctors who didn’t even acknowledge the fact that my daughter was in the room.
Some have been rude, lazy, or flat-out incompetent, but the ones that still make my mouth drop in awe are the ones who presume to tell me some jewel of information about Down Syndrome that I must not already know. It absolutely stuns me to hear someone say “Down Syndrome kids are like that”.
First, I have to bite my lip not to remind them that the kid comes first and the genetic disorder comes second. For goodness sake, you don’t call people with cancer “cancer people”, why in the world would you call them Down Syndrome kids? Then, I have to politely accept whatever tidbit they’re offering as if I’ve never heard it before.
I know it makes me sound contrite and mean, but it’s hard to be told the same thing over and over again by different professionals and pretend they are the first person to inform me. Sometimes, it almost borders on condescending - as if I don’t know a single thing about Down Syndrome, despite having a child with Down Syndrome, you know that little girl sitting right in front of you.
I can be a real sport about it and not launch into some lecture to these people, usually anyway. But one thing that nearly sends me into hysterics is when people treat her as though she has physical problems she doesn’t and do it right in front of me. For example, she recently had an eye exam and I informed the optometrist that she would not be able to clearly tell him what she can and cannot see.
I explained that even though she would understand what’s expected of her, her speech prevented her from stating it clearly. Also, I added, she’s very agreeable and would likely say she sees whatever you want her to see. Did this complete and polite explanation deter him? Well, of course not, if it did then I wouldn’t have a story to tell, now would I?
Anyway, he proceeds to project some pictures on the wall which, in my humble opinion we abstract at best and drawn by a one-eyed drunken pirate at worst. He asks her if she can tell him what the pictures are and she just looks at this man like it was the most ludicrous idea she’s ever heard.
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