Exceptions to the Rule

There are standards for most kids that parents can use to gauge how their own child is faring. Good friends reflect social ,and good grades reflect learning abilities. So, what do parents of children with Down Syndrome use to determine where their child stands? Normal standards aside, it’s still virtually impossible to create an average measurement to use that’s both fair and accurate.

The truth is, there is no average or standard when referring to kids with Down Syndrome. Even among kids with this chromosomal anomaly, there is no gauge or standard that’s fair to these kids, if for no other reason than kids with Down Syndrome are unique even among themselves. They each have skill and abilities in certain areas that make it nearly incomprehensible for anyone to try to compare them to each other.

Okay, so if step one is acknowledging that we cannot create a standard for kids with DS, then next logical step is to decide what kind of gauge we can use to determine how these kids are growing. The problem with this logic is that it’s idealistic and tailored to and for the world of people without DS. Average people are almost always deciding how good or bad the person next to them is. We used to call it "keeping up with the Joneses", and in essence that’s the same principal I’m alluding to.

It’s the principal of focusing on the people around us, and deciding if we’re doing worse or better than them. It may loosely serve as some kind of guideline or inspiration for most people, but it’s really a restrictive idea in the world of people with DS.

Nearly every day, people look at someone who has a person with special needs in their life, and they decide that someone's life must somehow be less fulfilled and overly burdened than the rest of the world. The reason they feel the need to pass judgment is their overwhelming need for comparison.

I am in no way saying that parents or families of a child with DS are somehow more enlightened and morally better than the rest of the world. The point I’m trying to make is that families of children with DS realize that how well their child is fairing compared to the next kid isn’t nearly as important or fulfilling as realizing that their own special child has unique abilities and talents. It’s the understanding that allowing their children to excel within themselves serves a better purpose than comparing them to others, even others with DS.

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