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When Is It Enough?

© Rachael Smith

All parents, and I do mean all parents, struggle with finding that fine line between encouraging their children and pushing them too hard. As much as I may worry about my oldest daughter's progress, it pales in comparison to the fears I face with my youngest daughter. A child who has learning delays needs the extra encouragement of therapies and specially designed activities. But, how do you know when it's enough? How can a parent of a child with special needs really be certain that their child is getting everything they need without pushing too hard? The hard answer is that maybe they can't ever be sure.

Since every child with Down Syndrome is different both developmentally and medically, the decision of how much is enough has to be determined on an individual basis. Each parent must observe and then decide if their child is progressing well based on what that parent feels the child is capable of. It sounds overwhelming and complicated but it really all comes down to one question, "Can my child do more?" and if the answer comes back "yes" then you know the child needs more activities or at least higher goals.

Fortunately, there are a few safeguards in place to help spot potential problems. Teachers, aides, and therapists can all offer their opinions based on their interaction with any given child. The sweet part of this arrangement is that it's still the parent's perogative to apply or ignore their suggestions. I'm not saying to summarily dismiss helpful suggestions but, the truth is, you know your child better than anyone else. You know if a particular goal is too high - or too low, for that matter. It has been my experience that both teachers and doctors can be mistaken if, for no other reason, than they let their previous experience with kids with Down Syndrome cloud their opinion. The truth is, a lot of people do this and that's why parents should always speak up on behalf of their child whether is over educational issues or medical ones.

It really all comes down to potential. Each child born with Down Syndrome has a certain amount of potential built in. Although this sounds contrary to everything we're used to hearing about our "normal" kids, it has a certain grain of truth. No, I don't mean that kids with Down Syndrome are automatically born with a limited amount of abilities and parents should never aspire to higher goals. What I mean is, kids with Down Syndrome are tested and rated at certain levels based on their abilities in all areas of life; social educational, mental, and emotional.