"Her Name Is Stubborn?"

Yes, I should have named my daughter stubborn. Hello, have you met my daughter Stubborn? If there was an Association of Outstanding Children Awards, my Abbey would definitely walk away with the Most Stubborn and Defiant plaque.

I look at other kids I know who have Down Syndrome and I wonder where in the world my daughter managed to come up with a heaping helping of Hollywood starlet mentality. People say, "Oh, kids with Down Syndrome are so giving", and I'm secretly thinking, you haven't met my daughter, have you?

Never in my life have I been confronted with an individual who is so firmly set on what she wants to the exclusion of what anyone else wants. Most people bend, if only a little, but not my child. The very concept of compromise is as foreign to her as it is offensive.

Yes, I know that as she grows older and is faced with the harshness of the world around her, that she will need that inner self-reliance and steadfastness. I'm just worried that at this rate, she'll burn out before she's ten. Either that or I'm going to go stark raving mad. I am constantly struggling with that fine line between being an authoritative parent and an over-bearing dictator.

I don't want to smother her spirit. It's one of my favorite things about her. She's so interesting and full of joy, and I don't want to dampen that part of her, but at the same time I want her to realize that there are always rules that have to be followed and people to answer to. Everything hinges on her willingness to give in a little and she vehemently refuses to do so, especially with me.

There has to be a way that I can be in charge and still allow her a certain amount of freedom. I'll admit, I have yet to find this delicate balance and I'm starting to wonder if I ever will. I didn't have to face this kind of situation with my oldest daughter. She was strong-willed and defiant for all of two days before she decided it really wasn't worth the effort to fight with me. Abbey just looks at me like I'm an idiot and I'm intruding into her space and time. It even seems the more strict I try to be with her, she takes a stronger stance against me, so that approach is going no where.

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