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Motherhood at 39

© Karen Apolloni

It's not that unusual to have a baby at 39. It is rather unusual to be pregnant for the first time at that age, or even older, but it's gotten more common in the 90's. There are lots of reasons for this trend. Some couples have difficulty conceiving, and may try for years before becoming pregnant. Sometimes it's a question of getting established in a career before taking time out to have a child. And sometimes the awareness of that biological clock ticking away leads a woman to decide to have a child after years of putting it off.

Whatever the reason, having your first child "later in life" really is different. First, there are generally more health concerns for mom and baby during pregnancy at this age. Mayo Clinic's Health Oasis can help with lots of information and links to other health related sites. Look at their Pregnancy & Child Health Resource Center. Here you'll find articles on health issues, a Q & A section, and a Due Date Calendar giving information and pictures of baby at different stages of development. ( Your browser must be Java-enabled to use this feature.)

There are also what I think of as social concerns relating to pregnancy and parenting in your late 30's and 40's. While your peers are dealing with teenage changes and even college costs, you're thinking about cloth vs. disposable diapers. While some women your age are re-entering the paid workforce after years as stay-at-home moms, you might be putting your career on hold to spend more time with your children. In other words, you might find yourself out of sync with your contemporaries, as I did.

When this happens, it's great to find people who share your concerns and your point of view, people who can give advice, empathy, sympathy. There's an award-winning website where you can find this kind of support. It's called Midlife Mommies, and it's a site for women having children in midlife. There's a message board, where you can post and read messages about specific topics. Focus, featuring news items of interest, includes an article about "the advantages and disadvantages of older parenting." There are sections on health, business, and community, and an Up Close area that features personal stories from moms.

Another site with lots to offer the older parent is Moms Online. You'll find parenting advice, live chat, general interest features such as hobbies, and message boards. Message boards of particular interest include one for "Moms over 40" and one addressing pregnancy over age 35. Parentsoup, another great site, also has an older parents' discussion group, along with lots of parenting advice.