Parental Influence

Do parents really matter? Do we shape our children's beliefs and behavior? Or do peers really have all the influence on what kids think, feel, and do?

The nature vs. nurture debate began at least 30 years ago, as far as I know. "Nature" is basically genetics, while the term "nurture" covers environment, parents, peers, and everyone else. Most people believe that nature and nurture are both important influences on how a child develops. The newest issue is: what part of "nurture" is most important?

Judith Rich Harris, author of a book titled "The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do", says genetics and peer influence, not parenting, shape the child. Her idea is controversial and many parenting experts disagree. These experts say peer influence is real, but it's just one of many influences on kids. At some ages, such as in the teens, peers are more important, but parents always have an impact on kids.

You'll find an interesting article on Harris' book and reaction to it in the Parenting Q & A Parenting News section.

For more on parental influence, look at some of the many articles in the Behavior and Child Development sections of Parenting Q & A. "Values and Morals" is one such essay. Or try "Helping kids stand up to peer pressure" for specific ideas on dealing with negative peer influences.

Parenting Today's Teen is another Web site with useful information relating to peer influence.

Another avenue to information on this topic is to visit one or more chat groups devoted to parenting issues. Chatting with other parents may give you new insights or ideas. You'll find lots of chat groups on Moms Online and other sites.

What do you think about parental influence? Can we instill our own values in our children? Or are peers (or other influences) more important? Click on Discussion below to have your say. And be sure to come back next month for more on parenting issues. Happy parenting!

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