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Our Loved Ones Hurt Also

© Karen Hamilton

I wanted to share this letter with you because it shows how not only the person with the disorder is effected, but how the lives of the people around them are also effected. Our spouses, our friends, our children, our families, our co-workers - all are hurting. Most of them want desperately to understand what is happening to us and they want to be able to help us.

(Reprinted with the author's permission)

Karen,

I live with the most wonderful and caring wife and mother, there are times that she has no panic attacks at all and then there are times when she has them all the time, sometimes 7 days a week and I try to understand but I can not truly understand because I have never suffered from one. I can sometimes see the fear in her face and don't know what to do. I will give her a hug and try to talk about it but it seems sometimes that when we talk about it that it just makes her think more about the attacks. However I am going to show her your web site - I think it might help. It can't hurt I hope. P.S. there is some good info on your site. thank you it has helped me.

(My answer):

That you care so much and try to understand means very much to her, I am sure. People who suffer from panic attacks don't understand what is happening to them anymore than their loved ones do - it only adds to the fear.

Sometimes my husband will just start talking to me when I have an attack - he'll just talk about anything at all - recall a trip we took together, something funny someone did, plans for the future, etc..just anything at all...while I don't hear everything he says, just the tone of his voice soothes me - he does not expect an answer, he does not ask me questions, he just talks and it will often lull me off to sleep.

Peace to you and your wife, Karen

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