We're conditioned in our lives to set our goals
by those around us. To evaluate our self worth
by how it compares to folks around us. I was
surprised at one point to have an individual insist
that comparing themselves to others and then
vilifying themselves is a common practice and that
"Everyone does it." The saying that we are our
own worst critiques doesn't have to have a negative
connotation.
I find it more encouraging to set my own goals
based on what I know of my abilities and then evaluate
myself according to self knowledge and what I
know about the circumstances at the time of my
accomplishing that task. I make the choice to
select those endeavors which I will engage in
with the intention of exceeding my perceived
abilities or not. The need to affect humility
while appearing to have failed in one's attempts
to accomplish a task is transparent in the least
and pretentious at the most. I agree with being
one's own task master, but use a feather whip and
a flexible measuring stick.
The result of this need to be seen in someone else's light is that individuals are unable to move acheive high levels of self esteem. The are unable to become an individual, but rather a part of a gaggle. I liken this to the seasonal lineup of ever-changing fashion. If you don't have the complete ensemble then you stand out in a crowd. When it comes to one's own accomplishments, then I would encourage the desire to be seen as an individual.
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