It's been one hot summer for Pagans.
In May 2005, Marion County Superior Court Chief Judge Cale J. Bradford barred a divorced couple from exposing their son to their religion--Wicca.
In July 2005, in a comment made to the Associated Press, Mississippi State Treasurer Geraldine Gray implied that she would not be troubled if a family practicing Wicca were denied government-supported social services--the issue in question was adoption.
For parents attempting to raise their children in the Pagan faiths, the fear that a social worker is going to appear at your doorstep at any moment is not without foundation. Although there have been few cases where Pagan parents have lost their children for purely religious reasons, there is an increasing number of cases involving Pagan parents and their children.
This is the first of a three part series exploring the complicated subject of Pagan parenting and the law. Part One discusses what you can do now to help prevent problems. Part Two follows with steps you can take when facing a legal situation. Part Three offers some resources.
An innocent comment made by your child can quickly become the source of tremendous emotional and financial stress. So now that our kids are in school, it's an excellent time to review what we can do to avoid unnecessary legal problems. School is not just about academics; it's a child's social world and it provides teachers and counselors the opportunity to screen their health and well-being. Not only do teachers keep their eyes open, children openly share a lot with teachers they trust. Keep that in mind.
In most cases where a Pagan has lost custody of a child, there have been good reasons--abuse, poor living conditions, or neglect caused by alcoholism and drug abuse. If any of these are a problem in your home, it's time to take care of it. That aside, there's a small piece of advice that seems like common sense, but it can't be said enough. It's important that you and your family practice good hygiene. Make sure your children are clean, have clean clothes, are well nourished, and disciplined. Pagans love animals, but having too many pets can be detrimental.
Put away the ritual tools and anything that may be considered potentially dangerous. Even if your child understands the purpose and the use of athames, bollines, and swords, non-Pagans generally do not. Anything that looks like a weapon should be stored.
Drop the kids off at Grandma's if you're going to be attending a ritual that contains overt sexual content. If the ritual is in your home, it's not enough to just send the kids upstairs. Even if nudity is natural to your children and regardless of whether they understand the sexual symbolism of your rite, it's in your best interest to send the kids out for the evening.
Take the same considerations when attending a festival. It's not just about what may be considered tawdry. Even at festivals where clothing is required, I've witnessed naked children running and playing on the grounds. It's innocent enough, but consider poison ivy or little feet cut on broken glass. While some states maintain a standard where clear evidence of substantial harm to a child must be shown, other states apply a standard that involves only the risk of harm.
There's no doubt that it is an important element in many Pagan paths, but it's crucial that parents be very clear with their children about magic. Children are tremendously creative and often believe in magic, but teachers are keen to note the differences between a healthy imagination and dangerous or delusional behavior.
Arm your child with simple, clear statements regarding your faith so he/she is prepared if questioned. It doesn't have to be too explanatory. After all, it's really not anyone's business, but it's a good idea to be prepared for questions that may arise. Teachers ask kids all the time what they did over the weekend or what their plans are for the holidays. Imagine the reactions if your child says she went dancing on the beach naked because there was a full moon or that her Halloween plans include a picnic in the cemetery. Teaching a child not to reveal too much while being careful not to instill a sense of secrecy and shame about our beliefs and practices can be tricky, but it's important that kids understand that not everyone approves of our behavior.
Get involved in the Pagan community, even if you are a solitary. Not only is it pleasant to be around like-minded people, it's good for your child to see that there are others like him/her. It's also good to have a support system and a network of connections when things get rough.
Consider joining a national organization such as the Correllian Nativist Church, one of the largest and fastest growing Wiccan churches, or the Covenant of the Goddess (COG), founded to increase cooperation among Witches and to secure the legal protection enjoyed by members of other religions. Your local Unitarian Universalist church may also be an excellent option. Not only do UU churches recognize and respect Pagan religions, they have a Pagan fellowship called the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans (CUUPS). Organizations like COG and CUUPS are well equipped to deal with religious rights issues.
While joining a national Pagan organization can lend you an air of legitimacy, beware to not get yourself into other problems. If you host religious meetings in your home and have sixty cars parked outside in your residential neighborhood, you could run into trouble with zoning ordinances.
While you're busy getting involved in the Pagan community, don't neglect your local non-Pagan community. Become acquainted with your neighbors. Volunteer for school events now and then. People are less likely to accuse you of inappropriate behavior if they know you.
You've taken all the preventive measures you could, but there's trouble on the horizon nevertheless so what now? In the second part of this series, we look at the steps you can take when you've got a problem on your hands. Stay tuned and remember, I am not a lawyer; just a Pagan. Please consult an attorney for legal advice.
In May 2005, Marion County Superior Court Chief Judge Cale J. Bradford barred a divorced couple from exposing their son to their religion--Wicca.
In July 2005, in a comment made to the Associated Press, Mississippi State Treasurer Geraldine Gray implied that she would not be troubled if a family practicing Wicca were denied government-supported social services--the issue in question was adoption.
For parents attempting to raise their children in the Pagan faiths, the fear that a social worker is going to appear at your doorstep at any moment is not without foundation. Although there have been few cases where Pagan parents have lost their children for purely religious reasons, there is an increasing number of cases involving Pagan parents and their children.
This is the first of a three part series exploring the complicated subject of Pagan parenting and the law. Part One discusses what you can do now to help prevent problems. Part Two follows with steps you can take when facing a legal situation. Part Three offers some resources.
An innocent comment made by your child can quickly become the source of tremendous emotional and financial stress. So now that our kids are in school, it's an excellent time to review what we can do to avoid unnecessary legal problems. School is not just about academics; it's a child's social world and it provides teachers and counselors the opportunity to screen their health and well-being. Not only do teachers keep their eyes open, children openly share a lot with teachers they trust. Keep that in mind.
In most cases where a Pagan has lost custody of a child, there have been good reasons--abuse, poor living conditions, or neglect caused by alcoholism and drug abuse. If any of these are a problem in your home, it's time to take care of it. That aside, there's a small piece of advice that seems like common sense, but it can't be said enough. It's important that you and your family practice good hygiene. Make sure your children are clean, have clean clothes, are well nourished, and disciplined. Pagans love animals, but having too many pets can be detrimental.
Put away the ritual tools and anything that may be considered potentially dangerous. Even if your child understands the purpose and the use of athames, bollines, and swords, non-Pagans generally do not. Anything that looks like a weapon should be stored.
Drop the kids off at Grandma's if you're going to be attending a ritual that contains overt sexual content. If the ritual is in your home, it's not enough to just send the kids upstairs. Even if nudity is natural to your children and regardless of whether they understand the sexual symbolism of your rite, it's in your best interest to send the kids out for the evening.
Take the same considerations when attending a festival. It's not just about what may be considered tawdry. Even at festivals where clothing is required, I've witnessed naked children running and playing on the grounds. It's innocent enough, but consider poison ivy or little feet cut on broken glass. While some states maintain a standard where clear evidence of substantial harm to a child must be shown, other states apply a standard that involves only the risk of harm.
There's no doubt that it is an important element in many Pagan paths, but it's crucial that parents be very clear with their children about magic. Children are tremendously creative and often believe in magic, but teachers are keen to note the differences between a healthy imagination and dangerous or delusional behavior.
Arm your child with simple, clear statements regarding your faith so he/she is prepared if questioned. It doesn't have to be too explanatory. After all, it's really not anyone's business, but it's a good idea to be prepared for questions that may arise. Teachers ask kids all the time what they did over the weekend or what their plans are for the holidays. Imagine the reactions if your child says she went dancing on the beach naked because there was a full moon or that her Halloween plans include a picnic in the cemetery. Teaching a child not to reveal too much while being careful not to instill a sense of secrecy and shame about our beliefs and practices can be tricky, but it's important that kids understand that not everyone approves of our behavior.
Get involved in the Pagan community, even if you are a solitary. Not only is it pleasant to be around like-minded people, it's good for your child to see that there are others like him/her. It's also good to have a support system and a network of connections when things get rough.
Consider joining a national organization such as the Correllian Nativist Church, one of the largest and fastest growing Wiccan churches, or the Covenant of the Goddess (COG), founded to increase cooperation among Witches and to secure the legal protection enjoyed by members of other religions. Your local Unitarian Universalist church may also be an excellent option. Not only do UU churches recognize and respect Pagan religions, they have a Pagan fellowship called the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans (CUUPS). Organizations like COG and CUUPS are well equipped to deal with religious rights issues.
While joining a national Pagan organization can lend you an air of legitimacy, beware to not get yourself into other problems. If you host religious meetings in your home and have sixty cars parked outside in your residential neighborhood, you could run into trouble with zoning ordinances.
While you're busy getting involved in the Pagan community, don't neglect your local non-Pagan community. Become acquainted with your neighbors. Volunteer for school events now and then. People are less likely to accuse you of inappropriate behavior if they know you.
You've taken all the preventive measures you could, but there's trouble on the horizon nevertheless so what now? In the second part of this series, we look at the steps you can take when you've got a problem on your hands. Stay tuned and remember, I am not a lawyer; just a Pagan. Please consult an attorney for legal advice.
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