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Keeping Time with Nuclear
© Reginald Vickers
Oct 31, 2000
There is a statistic that estimates the number one reason for suicide is Day Light Savings Time. For most people, this last Sunday in October causes stressful changes in one's life. Before this extra hour was forced upon us, many people I know had enough daylight left after work to perform many relaxing outdoor activities like washing their car, yard work, or walking the dog. (Notice I said "most people I know", I do not fall into this category). Many others, perform exercise activities like cycling or jogging to relieve their workday stress. Yet once the last Sunday in October changes time as we know it, the darkened streets are empty, and stress begins to build from lack of exterior activities according to this study from the Himalayan School of Psychology and Auto Mechanics (HSPAM). This study concludes by saying that we were direct descendants of the Himalayan Spotted Bear (also known as the Pajama Bear). It provides evidance that our hibernating instinct parallels this PJ Bear, which also has a high number of suicides during the winter months (which is what has led to their most certain extinction). As the PJ bear performs limited activity after the last Sunday in October, the majority of our own outdoor activities decrease to walking from the house to the car and then from the car to work. After 8 hours of hibernated office work, we repeat this behavior in reverse order, work to car and then car to house, where we snug ourselves in until the next day's routine. Yet some people have found ways to reverse this time of depression, if not just for one day. For Bill and Betty, this special day of Daylight Savings time brings entertainment and joy to their lives. Their activity is called TASZ-KIZ (It is german forDaylight Savings Time Church Watching (Tageslicht Spar Zeit Kirche Zuschauen). Every Daylight savings Sunday, Bill and Betty arrive at the church on the last Sunday in October an hour early, breakfast and binoculars in hand. They take a spot on the hill by the parking lot entrance, gazing towards the road. Bill says, "I just love to watch the expressions on the poor souls that forgot to move the hands on their watch back one tick". I asked Bill, a retired state trooper, what the binoculars were for. He replied with a chuckle, "I love to get a close up look at their expressions when they find the usually filled church parking lot is empty".
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