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Cheap Luggage Can Stinks!

© Reginald Vickers

I did a poll this last week and found that most people had the same brand of luggage that I had- Hefty. Hefty bags are great because of their versatility. They make great garment bags (all you have to do is cut a small hole in the bottom and run the top of the hangers through it). If you get the Hefty bags with drawstrings they make great duffel bags. This is the cheapest luggage you can buy. They are easy to use, and perfect for use as the "return home" dirty laundry bag. And when you use one as a garment bag, one as a duffel, and one as to haul your toiletries, you have a complete matching set. Not bad when you compare the hundreds of dollars that a new set might cost. Yet I do have one warning. This warning comes in the way of a story.

My brother, Mike, and his wife, Darlene, and their 8 children were visiting me while I was in college. It was a hot southern day, when the mercury in the thermometer was actually bubbling. Mike and his clan had just stopped on their return passage from the Mecca of Mickey Mouse. Unfortunately their air conditioning in their station wagon went out on the trip and it was almost unbearable. They were glad to get out of the car when they arrived to my house. Since I was half way between Mickey and Buick City, my house was the perfect point to recover, shower, and sleep. Their plans were to get up early and continue to their one last amusement destination- Cedar Point in Ohio. The morning of their departure I arose early, careful not to disturb anyone. It was garbage day and I had to get my weekly offering ready for pick-up. I had missed the trash man the week before. I went to the basement to apprehend my week old garbage. The stink was beginning to overtake the house as well as the neighborhood. The combination of extreme heat, new puppy doo-doo, leftover college chow, and the week of simmering had brought in to it's optimal HPO (highest potential odor). I slipped on my Israeli issued gas mask (which you can purchase at http://www.theepicenter.com/military_sur... ) and headed into the basement to be rid of the stench once and for all. Yet through the sound of my filtered breathing, I heard the house above me begin to come alive with footsteps, crying, a few coughs, and then the promise, "We're leaving!" I quickly took the three potent Hefty bags out the back door and brought it around to the front porch, placing them ever so gently as if they might explode. The next minute or so was a whirlwind of activity: hugging, kissing, "bye-bye", "have a nice trip", Hefty luggage being carried out, and then silence- complete silence.

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