Reginald's Top Ten Reasons To Shop on the Internet
Have you noticed lately that everyone has a "Top Ten" list? There are so many "Top Ten" lists that there is one web site that is totally devoted to providing "Top Ten" lists (which claims to have thousands) at Top10Links.com. But I must question the validity of this site. For example, let me share with you their TOP TEN Candy Brands:
1) Hershey;
2) Butterfinger;
3) Twix;
4) Jelly Beans;
5) M&M;
6) Snickers
7) Twinkies;
8) Lifesavers;
9) Jolly Ranchers;
10) Fuzzy Peach;
11) Baby Ruth;
12) Pay Day; and
13) Goo Goo Clusters.
Since you are intelligent readers (as all my readers are) I bet you can name at least four things that is wrong with this list! I'll make this like a good Tom Clancy novel and give you my "Top Four" reasons at the end of this article. Oh the suspense is killing me.
Now for my list.
REGINALD'S TOP TEN REASONS WHY USING THE INTERNET TO SHOP AT HOME IS BETTER THAN SHOPPING AT THE MALL!!
10) When shopping in the mall, you have to hire a cab to take you to your car which is parked in the next county
9) When shopping at home, you don't have to spend $6 for a cup of coffee
8) When shopping at the mall, you might end up in the emergency room from fighting for that last bargain with people twice your age (they take their bargains very seriously)
7) When shopping at home, you can look in your closet and find out if you already have a pea green sports blazer to go with those burgundy corduroys you just purchased
6) When shopping at home, you won't run into your high school gym coach at Victoria's Secret (but I must say that it did look good on him)
5) When shopping at the mall, you have to buy a new pair of shoes each week because you wore the last ones out covering all 3 billion square feet searching for that one bargain (and still didn't buy anything)
4) When shopping at home, you don't have to try to get Barbie's attention to wait on you while she explains to all of her co-workers 50 reasons why her boyfriend is such a jerk (while you wait patiently for 20 minutes)
3) When shopping at the mall, you have the BaglaMallian Theory. This theory suggests that you have to justify each shopping trip by buying something. This simple formula for shopping is based on how the price and size of the product has to justify the amount of time you spent shopping. The BaglaMallian Theory is TS x MD / SD=$ (Time Shopping multiplied by Miles Driven divided by Shopping Days to Christmas equals the amount of money you must spend to justify the trip)
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