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Wear Your Army Boots When Doing Your "Back To School" Shopping

© Reginald Vickers

Well, its back to school time. Even though I don't have kids, I am still affected by this grand event. It now takes me 30 minutes to make a 10-mile drive to work. The checkout lines in Wal-Mart go out the door and around the building thirteen times with parents' shopping carts filled with enough new clothes for their child to wear a different outfit every day of the school year. And I can guarantee you I won't be stopping at Burger King from the hours of 3pm until 4pm (the middle school is just around the corner).

I was reminded of this when I went to Staples to buy a new ink cartridge. I was in the vicinity of the store about 5 minutes before they opened. I figured I might as well go ahead and pull into the parking lot and wait. As I entered the parking lot I couldn't believe my eyes. There was not a parking site to be found. I figured they must have been giving merchandise away. (And you know me, I like a bargain.) So I couldn't wait to get in the store to see what all the excitement was about. Even though there was not a parking spot to be found, there was a sign by the road that said "Parking Area Ahead". To my amazement, this "Parking Area" was 8 miles up the road. A shuttle bus was bringing parents over from the local high school for their shopping convenience (and since the store was so crowded). I figured I might as well join them. I had an hour to kill. So I got on the big yellow bus. Big mistake. I had never heard people so rabid about shopping. These parents were mercenary shoppers. They were planning their shopping strategy in reminiscence of Sam Rutigliano as he led the Cleveland Browns to victory (and as he continues to do so with the Liberty Flames). I head one sweet looking mother tell another, "When they open the door, I will head up Aisle 3, you take aisle 8, Mary Jo will fall when they open the door, causing a distraction. This way we will be the first to the Pokemon book covers". And I thought I took shopping seriously!

Well, for all you parents with a lot more sense, a lot less time to stand in line, and still needing to buy those school specials, I have listed shopping sites that may help you with little Johnny's need for Pokeman lunchbox, Jedi knapsack, and Veggietale t-shirts.

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