Christmas Shopping for the Men in Your Life
Warning: I am not politically correct. Therefore, I am writing from a stereotypical point of view. Kids like toys, men like sports, and women... well, they are peculiar people and I still haven't figured out what they like. So please don't e-mail me about my stereotypes, it just makes writing easier.
Most men are egotistical. I know this for a fact. It's in the book, Women are from Venus and Men Act Like Pluto (or was it Goofy). This self-centeredness comes through as they defend their territories. How many times does a man say, "You wouldn't understand" when it comes to talking to his spouse about cars or his favorite sports team? For me, that cherished item is clothes. I hate it when anybody attempts to buy me clothes. For years and years and years my mother tried to buy me neon shirts, sunflower sweaters, polyester pants, and other items she thought that I might wear. I have never liked what she bought until last year - a pair of socks. Even with the socks, I had to pretend I didn't like them. I was afraid that if I told her they were OK, I would set a new precedent. Then she would think that she could start buying for me again. I might end up with another tie-dye sports jacket with matching plaid trousers like two years ago. ("But I thought you liked clothes with color," she said.)
Since I love to shop, I thought I would go ahead and shop for you. I didn't think you would mind. All you have to do is go to the sites I have listed and buy the presents that I have picked out. Then all the shopping for the men in your life will be done. How easy can it be? No lines. No car dents and dings. No holdups or pickpockets. No hassles. You might be asking, "how do you know what I can afford?" That's a good point. So I will give you a high price (over $1,000), medium price ($100-999), and low price ($20-100) items. So let's go shopping.
(To keep myself from being sued: this information is for entertainment purposes and any purchases that you make are between you and the seller. I don't guarantee anything except that you'll at least have fun looking at these items.)
Dad: Most fathers are from the old school. He worked and took care of the yard. Mom did everything else including taking care of him. My dad never buys hats, coats, ties, and socks. He expects mom or me to do that. The only time dad has a chance of getting anything decent is when I buy for him (yes, he has a tie-dyed sports jacket also).
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