What If You Give a Gift and No One Likes It?

This time last year I wrote an article on The Spirit of Giving (http://www.Suite101.com/article.cfm/olde... about how I believe we should give gifts to one another out of love and respect rather than cultural pressure. In that vein, I think it is important to realize that the gifts we give to these people we love and respect should be gifts those people want to receive, and not necessarily the gifts we feel moved to give.

For instance, I may enjoy shopping for and purchasing gold watches. It is a real kick for me to pick out these "treasures," and I'm always sure to find one that is appropriate for each person on my list. Now, what person wouldn't enjoy receiving a gold watch for Christmas? I can't be accused of selfishness in giving such a valued gift, can I?

What if the recipient of my shopping fetish of the season already has many watches, or could have used the money I spent on the watch to pay for his/her medications or a utility bill? What if the gold watch will sit in the recipient's drawer because he/she never wears a watch, be it gold, silver, or platinum? How can the recipient gracefully acknowledge my valuable gift, but also let me know that what he/she REALLY wanted was something very different, something suited to his/her personal needs of which I didn't take the time to be aware?

When I are gift buying, are good intentions enough? Should I even further hone our list of loved ones to whom we will offer gifts, and in doing so, allow ourselves the chance to take the time and effort to find out what the intended recipient really needs or wants? It seems like it would suffice to simply ask a person what they want, but politeness and embarrassment often temper answers to those kinds of questions.

I have to be honest-- unless I have specifically asked for money, I prefer a gift. The reason for that is then I know the person took the time to consider what would fulfill my needs or desires and made an effort to provide that to me. The amount a person spends on something, or the denomination of the money gifted mean nothing as far as the value of that gift to me. If I need a scarf and mittens and I want them to be purple...and my loved one shops until he/she finds just the shade of purple they know I love and buy that scarf and mitten set for me, that means more to me than being handed a fifty dollar bill by the same person.

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