If I Knew Then What I Know Now

When I heard the phrase, "If I knew then what I know now" in my twenties and thirties, I was pretty sure I knew exactly what was meant by that. But if you remember, the twenties and thirties are those decades in our lives when we think we know everything, and what we don't know isn't worth knowing. No matter how sophisticated our lives had become, we maintained a youthful innocence in those life decades; an innocence that only time and life experience could replace with...wisdom.

As I approach the decade of my fifties, I find that I spend at least equal time remembering the past as I do contemplating the future. When I consider the future, it is not with the same eagerness or rose-colored positiveness of my youth. Thoughts of the past are either pleasant ponderings or consideration of actions/words that should have been different, could have lead to different outcomes.

I don't remember exactly when some of that fervor of youth was transposed into circumspection and forethought; it happened without fanfare. I suspect the birth of my first child set about the insidious change, although it might have happened after I lost a job or two because of my impetuousness, or when I signed the lease on my first apartment. I do know the occasion was never marked with a cake or candles, but is just a surely a mark of maturity as any birthday could ever be.

What I didn't know about life as a kid would fill up multiple shelves in the library, and my kids and grandkids are just as I was, and just as you were. Remember how our parents tried to tell us things "for our own good"? If so, then I'd wager that you also recall just how well you heeded those words, and note that the reaction of the younger generations now are really not so different that ours were. That's one of the infallible features of human nature; there are just some things in life we have to experience ourselves to learn from them. Parents, since the beginning of time, have been trying to spare their youngsters some painful life lessons. It is a rite of passage for parent and youngster alike.

In retrospect, had I known then what I know now, I would have heeded some of those hard-won lessons of my folks. The lesson that comes to mind is "don't try to grow up too fast." Oh, it sounded like my folks were trying to keep me a child so they could tell me what to do a little longer in life.

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