To be politically correct, we feel as if we have to consider what to give the paper carrier, the hairdresser, the lawn service provider. Just as there has always been, there are siblings, parents, and friends who need to be bought for. Soon, in-laws will enter the picture, as well as co-workers and business associates. For some of us, charities receive a bonus from us this time of year, as much for income tax purposes as generosity of spirit. The list of people for whom we are obligated to purchase gifts seems to get longer each year, and with it, the dread and regret of money spent and credit cards used.
Guess what? This is NOT what gift-giving is about. Never mind what we've been programmed over centuries to believe about gift-giving, Christmas in particular. When the wise men came to visit the infant Christ, they came bearing gifts...and they did so out of reverence and respect and love. The wise men didn't expect anything in return from the baby, or from His parents. Presenting the frankincense and myrrh to the swaddled infant was a gesture of faith and gratitude, of hearts full of love and joy.
If we give to others from any feelings other than love, respect, and joy...aren't we giving for all the wrong reasons? Aren't we really trying to purchase something for ourselves by the act of gift-giving...acceptance, envy, political correctness? When we give gifts to anyone other than out of a pureness of our hearts, the giving becomes so much less than selfless, no matter the monetary cost of the gift. When we give expecting something in return, if that something is merely not to be thought of as different or cheap, then what we are really doing is bartering. Bartering is the exchange of one good or service for a like good or service...think about it...isn't obligatory gift-giving the same thing?
Myself, I don't want to be the recipient of obligatory gifts, and don't intend to participate in the somewhat maniacal practice of same. We all know what it feels like to give, and to get, obligatory gifts...gifts we feel compelled to purchase and give through the rites of mainstream culture. I will give to those that my heart tells me to give to, and often, the gift I offer will be a part of myself rather than an inanimate object or service. Because I will only be giving gifts to people I love or care about in some way, I'll be able to give gifts that meet each person's wants/needs. There will be an emotional connection between gift-giver and receiver, a feeling of joy and completion in the giving, and hopefully, a feeling of joy and being cared about by the receiver.
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