OCD Rules

copyright 2000

Are you bound by too many rules? Could the rules be connected to your OCD? Do you have trouble deciding if your rules are reasonable rules that any prudent person would have?

I am very rule oriented. I have a few rules for how other people should behave, but most of my rules govern my behavior. Rules "protect" me from danger, discomfort and embarrassment. I tend to think that they also keep me from later obsessing - that if I follow specific rules, I won't obsess later. But the rules get in the way when I can't remember if I did a step in the checking process. For example, "I could reduce obsessing about locking the door by going through a series of steps and mindfully locking it."

But there comes a time when I just automatically lock the door and go to the car. What if I didn't lock it? Do I go back and check? Rules are fine, but I've learned that when you do something every day it becomes familiar, almost automatic. We get into a habit of locking the door when we leave the house. When my OCD was moderate to severe, I must have gone back to check the door at least a hundred times over the years. In fact, I checked the door so much I wore out the lock and we had to replace it!

Rules are quite important, living by them defines our characters. And doing things mindfully is helpful for people with OCD. But we need to keep in mind that those same rules that we use to protect ourselves from obsessing later very well may backfire. When we forget one step, we give added importance to the rules. If I didn't follow the rules, then I may not have locked the door. For me, that thought would grow and grow until I told myself I just know I didn't lock the door. So back I would go to check the door. When OCD gets the best of me, I still go back and check on occasion. And of all the times I've gone back to check, the door was never left unlocked.

My contamination fears taught me another lesson about rules and OCD. I have had hand washing rules in the kitchen. Wash your hands after handling raw meat or eggs. But what about milk? Or what about mayonnaise? When I am making something for others, the rules are even stricter. I once gave up on making a relish plate for church after the second try and ended up putting it all in the refrigerator for my family to eat. I kept thinking I had touched an olive, then a pickle. We stopped at the store to buy something packaged for the potluck.

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