Spare the rod and spoil the child, some agree, but personally I do not believe in spanking. I believe - it is the parents right to choose to or not, but even if the parents discipline with spanking, I strongly believe grandparents, caregivers and teachers do not have the right to spank a child that is not their own. One exception, Custodial Foster parents and Grandparents who have taken on the full-time parenting role of the children should have the same choices parents have. That said here are some alternative methods of discipline for your grandchild that do work, and actually can help build a stronger relationship with your grandchildren. You can help develop angelic behavior in your grandchildren. They are your "Little Angels," so praise their best angel like manner.
These methods and suggestions are meant to be practiced when the parents are not present. If the parents are present, it is their responsibility to handle the situation. However, you may support their actions by adding a short comment like, "That wasn't very nice." Supporting the parents, lets the child know what they did is not okay, and they will not be allowed to act that way at all.
First and most important, discuss with your grandchildren's parents the forms of discipline they effectively use. Ask them for an outline of appropriate punishments for individual behavior problems. Example; What do you do if Joey continually throws toys at his sister or pets? Parents may answer "we remove Joey from his sister and pets for a short while, taking away the items he has thrown for a day." "Joey is allowed to play with his sister and pets, after Joey gives them a hug and apologizes." If this situation arises in your home, follow the parents way of handling it.
Secondly set up realistic rules for you home and firmly enforce them. If you don't accept jumping on furniture, then plainly state, "Grammie and Papa don't jump on the furniture and it is not allowed in our home." "We do our jumping outside, would like to go in the yard to jump around?" A short reminder, a funny statement and acceptable alternative will get your grandchild's attention. What is Grandma's Rule? is a great article for help on setting your own grandparent house rules.
Respect your grandchildren's things and privacy. By doing this, you teach them to respect, not to touch, or take items that are not theirs. If you ask first to touch something of theirs, they will in turn ask before they touch something of yours. Teach your grandchildren by practicing the good behaviors you want to see in them. Cleaning up for example, if you clean up after yourself, they will learn to clean up after themselves. Sometimes a reminder is helpful, like clearing the table, you can start by clearing your place setting and ask your grandchild to help by clearing theirs. If by chance they refuse, remind them that dessert is served only after the dinner dishes are cleared from the table. If by chance they do the clearing on their own, thank them for helping, this tells them they are doing the right thing.
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