March of the Drooling Fan Girls
The Drooling Fan Girl I'm fond of though isn't that extreme. Sure she posts embarrassing things online about Trent and her ardor for him. She wants to bake him brownies, fill his need for an understanding and nurturing female in his life and make sweet, sweet love to him. Or chain him up in her basement and make him her love slave. Sometimes both. Post a picture of him and watch the salivating begin. Especially on nin.com, where Reznor reputedly actually reads the postings occasionally. To read the postings you'd be struck immediately with the realization that Trent Reznor is the single most attractive and appealing man in the history of the universe. Damn it! These girls like big noses...and tortured temperaments...and by god, if the man isn't exactly a Nine Inch Nail after all (wink wink, nudge nudge) that's just dandy too.
In Drooling Fan Girl Land the topic of most concern is *always* Trent's bodacious ass. Never mind world strife. Never mind violence in the streets, or flood or fire or famine. We want to see more pictures of Trent's booty! Trent's photo layout in the latest issue of that magazine is good for hours of ecstatic postings extolling his masculine charms. Those eyes! Those arms! That butt! Oh mama mia...those lips! Rest assured that, at some point, someone will drop in the unnecessarily descriptive observation that they must now excuse themselves and change their panties. These are the female fans I assume. For his male fans who can't get enough of his physical charms, I'm afraid to speculate what they excuse themselves to do.
Some of us wonder occasionally what Trent Reznor must think of all this. Maybe a mixture of amused and flattered, and somewhat embarrassed and horrified. Depending on how bad his band mates and associates are ragging him about it on any given day. What about that now-legendary Trent on stage with a boner still shot that keeps getting posted on a regular basis? Could this be the reason Reznor is spotted onstage now wearing safari type jackets that cover his naughty bits? Maybe I'm just too suspicious. Or too much of a Drooler myself not to speculate...;)
Aye...there's the rub. Except for the obvious nut cases, I have a soft spot in my heart for some of these Droolers, because I understand them to an extent. I share their admiration of more than Reznor's genius and musical
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