New Year's Resolutions,New Year's Resolutions
4. To watch more Nets Games, part 2 Not that I’m a fair weather fan but I feel at least half as sick-and-tired of the Knicks as ex-Coach Jeff Van Gundy must have. I’ve got a hundred bucks that says the next time we see JVG in public, he looks more like George Hamilton than the ghastly version of Mr. Magoo we’re all used to. I am officially swearing off the Knicks – at least until they’re under the salary cap again, somewhere around 2004. Before I sign off on the Knicks, I do want to say that watching the Miami Heat tank this year has been especially rewarding. The Other Side is humbling as hell, isn't it Riles?
5. To order more icepacks for all of Boxing’s black eyes You’ve got the Harlem Hammer in the slammer for a post-fight cheap shot he threw on a “Night of Thanksgiving” in front of 500 NYPD and NYFD. Then there’s the blood of Beethaven Scottland on the Commission’s hands after a fight aboard the Intrepid. Don’t forget Zab Judah and Bernard Hopkins disrespecting a referee and Puerto Rico respectively. And, of course, Mike Tyson wants to eat all of your unborn children.
6. To try out for the Rolando Paulino All-stars Eligibility shmeligibility. It took a couple of near-perfect games and several strikeouts on the national stage for the Press to start digging for dirt on 14 I-mean-12-year-old Danny Almonte. I should have known when he agreed to be interviewed only after both McGuyver and Murder She Wrote had ended. Now if only I could throw a curve as nasty as Danny’s…
7. To accept the Youth Movement in Tennis, made evident at the US Open. This is a hard one. It took me until the late 90s to accept the fact that Andre and Pete really could beat Jimmy and John with one hand tied behind their respective hulking backs. Now, it appears as if the guard is changing again (although Sampras did have quite a stirring run before bowing out to prodigy Lleyton Hewitt). It appears as if Hewitt and19-year-old Andy Roddick have supplanted Agassi and Sampras as the marquee match up in men’s tennis. Don’t even get me started on the ladies. The grisly veteran Capriati, 24, is back from ‘retirement’ to battle Martina (Hingis not Navratilova), 21, Serena, 20, and Venus, 21, for the next twenty years or so. Where have you gone Mary Joe
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