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You Are What You Communicate

© Richard Kent Matthews

Word count: 597

"Nothing that exists in the external world can be affected by anyone's beliefs unless those beliefs are followed by action. A conversation, lecture, sales pep talk, military briefing, campaign speech, sermon, or any other kind of talk, unless directly responsible for subsequent action identifiable in the external world, remains what it essentially was to begin with--just a lot of noise."

So says I. D. Shapiro in his provocative and rather bizarre book, "You Must Not Let Them Con You--There's Too Much At Stake." (1994 Men's Sana Foundation). Are we guilty of 'just a lot of noise?' Too often, I fear. In our everyday interactions with others, are we sending forth messages that mean more to ourselves than they can possible mean to our listeners?

In most spiritual traditions, strong relationships are necessary for healthy and prosperous living. Here are eight keys to encourage, develop, and nurture powerful--and profitable--relationships:

1. Start each day with a beginner's mind. This is an old Zen concept that still works. It literally means to surrender up the old and embrace the new. Thinking you know everything there is to know about something closes the door to new learning. And new, continual learning keeps you mentally, emotionally, and professionally healthy. It even helps grow new neural pathways in the brain, adding millions of new and powerful connections.

2. Know yourself. Begin to surrender up old ideas and habits. But first, you need to discover what those habits are. Some are so buried it may take a lifetime to unearth them. Don't let that stop you, though. It's a journey, not a destination.

3. You are not alone; you belong to a vast and diverse community. We sometimes think that no one understands us or even can. We're wrong. There's a network out there that is just waiting for you to voluntarily join it. We need your gifts.

4. Loosen your fear of intimacy; open your life. Let us know who you are. Get brighter, lighter, and closer. It's scary, but you change the world a little each time you let down a little more guard.

5. Conflicts will invariably happen so seek the higher ground. You can continue the fight, or you can present options and alternatives. Do the least harm, the most good.

6. Listen to your heart as well as your head. Together they will lead you to the right decision and direction. Intuition is a magnificent ally. Take advantage of it; it's here to serve.