Many mothers ask themselves the question ‘Should my children attend the birth?’ There are several things to consider. What is the age of the child? What is the nature of the child? Who will be responsible for her during the tougher times of labour and delivery? What if she gets bored?
If you are considering having a child at the birth, there is really no age that is too young or too old. Children, who are only 2, may feel fear being separated, and even more fear if they can hear what’s going on but not be close to a parent. It’s extremely important to include your child in as many aspects of the pregnancy as possible. This includes having your child attend the majority of midwife meetings and allowing them to voice their questions to both the midwife and yourselves. Using videos and books, a child can learn what labour will look and sound like. Don’t underestimate your child’s ability to grasp the concepts. My daughter, who was almost 3, knew all of the labour terminology from amniotic fluid to cervical dilation, and was even ‘cutting the cord’ on her stuffed animals.
Make sure there is a trusted adult who can be the primary caretaker of the child. It’s best if this is a grandparent or close friend, as the father’s support will be needed elsewhere. If your child is older, you can perhaps give them a task that they will be responsible for during the labour. For instance, a child of 6 or 7 can make sure that cold cloths are ready for the labouring mother’s forehead. But do this only if the child is interested.
Often labour is a long process and your child may be bored. Consider activities that your child can do with her caretaker during the labour. Allow her access to you when she wants, but don’t force her to attend as she may become whiny and irritable.
My daughter stayed with me until transition. When her grandmother arrived, just as I was pushing out the baby, she lost interest in the miracle of birth and wanted instead to assist in preparing the post-delivery lunch. She wandered in and out of the bathroom (I was in the soaking tub), and I called to her as soon as the baby was born. “What do you think?” I asked. “Nice,” was her reply. Then, together with my husband, she cut the baby’s cord.
Go To Page: 1
