The Power of Suggestion

I was aware of everyone there. I felt more like I was in a performance than letting my body take over. My midwife, who I had only met a few times, had her hands on me the entire time – and this was quite unnecessary. My husband was pinched out of the way for much of the birth, with only his hand reaching over to hold mine. People were bustling around, there was limited quiet during the contractions, and my mother-in-law had the television playing loudly so that my daughter would not hear the noises.

All things I did not predict… all things that I would have done differently.

By letting us labour on our own, my first midwife instilled the notion that things were fine, that everything was proceeding naturally. The second midwife, by having her hands on me, instilled the notion that I needed help; my body wouldn’t work without assistance. Having a total stranger present definitely made me feel self-conscious and tense. The pain was overwhelming and I emerged feeling shocked and upset.

As always, hindsight is followed by ‘should have’ and ‘would have’. If I am lucky enough to have a third child, I will communicate clearly my expectations for the midwife. I will not make the mistake of assuming that midwives have similar mindsets, as these two midwives had entirely different approaches. I will insist that strangers not be present, and if it is unavoidable, that the back-up midwife wait in another room until she is needed… or if she is needed.

The power of suggestion during birth is so strong; it is best to discuss what you envision for your birth with each midwife. During the birth, your feelings could change just with the touch of a hand.

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