We may look the same as mainstream parents, but we parent differently at home. Many of our friends and relatives don't understand why we do things differently than they did. We must stand by our beliefs in a society where acting out of the ordinary is looked down upon.
We know that even though mom and dad both play important roles, they are not equal in the beginning because of a mother's symbiotic-like relationship with her newborn. We know that breastfeeding, baby wearing, and bed sharing are essential ways to care for our young children.
We aren't worried that our small children are trying to manipulate us, because we know that they are not trying to make us do what they want as the expert baby trainers warn, but rather to use us as they are learning to use their own bodies to get what they need, because they don't yet realize where they end and we begin.
We know that we are not reinforcing undesirable behavior when we comfort our children after disciplining them. We would be reinforcing the behavior only if we gave in in order to stop the behavior. If we turned away from our distressed child, we would be adding to his unhappiness. By offering comfort, we show our child that we love him unconditionally.
We know that having children will change our lives and that if we attempt to fit our children to our lives rather than our lives to them, we will all suffer. We know that we have to be available to them most of the time, so we have to challenge our society's belief that children can become independent at a young age. We hope that they will never become independent, but interdependent so they will have the courage to act on their own and they will not be afraid to ask for help.
We know that we have everything we need to be good parents. We know that products and expert opinions may help or harm, so we must beware of any product that poses as a substitute for our care. We must first trust our instincts in every decision.
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