Your baby expects to be held most of the time, responded to sensitively, breastfed, and kept comfortable. When his expectations are not met, he signals his need nonverbally. When his signals are consistently met with your attempts to understand and meet his needs, he learns to trust you, and his ability to communicate. His signals become clearer, and your responses become more accurate. This interaction builds attachment between you and him and helps him learn language. He spends less time crying and more time in a state of quiet alertness in which he best grows and develops emotionally, intellectually, and physically.
AP does not require an at-home mom. It's just as important, if not more, for working parents to practice attachment parenting while they are with their child so they can build connection and trust. AP parents take special care in choosing a responsive and nurturing substitute caregiver.
AP is not just for moms. It's for dads and all of your child's other caregivers.
AP is not indulgent parenting. It's responding appropriately to your child's signals. It's giving her everything she needs, not everything she wants. (However, a young baby's wants are her needs.)
AP is not permissive parenting. It's gaining your child's trust by meeting his needs so he will trust your authority and more easily accept limits. It's knowing your child well and being compassionate while shaping his behavior through encouragement and gentle correction. It's never withholding your love and approval.
AP does not create dependent children. It's dependably meeting your child's needs to create stability so she has the confidence to do things on her own.
AP is not a method with steps to be followed. It's a set of tools to help you build attachment with your child. Practicing these tools helps you become more sensitive to your child's cues. Use the following tools as a starting point for creating your own way of parenting.
Begin at Birth. Spend lots of time with your baby during the first weeks after his birth when you and he are getting to know one another. This time allows you to learn his subtle language, our "forgotten" nonverbal language, so you can build trust by dependably meeting his needs. Hold him skin-to-skin immediately after he is born. Breastfeed him within the hour. Look at him, touch him, and talk to him.
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