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Choosing My Battles

© Lara E. Kaskabas

I know I have touched on this subject before. I feel it is an important one for parents who make unpopular choices in giving birth to and raising their children. There have been times over the past 3 years when I have come to doubt my own parenting choices solely based on the reaction I get from others. I start wondering, "Am I a freak? Is this wrong? Why am I getting such a violent reaction? Is what I am doing SO shocking?" When people close to us, our friends and family members, react to our decisions with distaste, displeasure or disgust, it definitely makes us feel at least uncomfortable, if not uncertain about our choices even if just for an instant. Having come this far as a breastfeeding, co-sleeping, non-vaccinating mama, I've learned a few things about how to choose my battles.

It's hard for a person like me - a bit rebellious, a bit civilly-disobedient, a bit proud of going against the grain - to hold my tongue when I feel passionate about something. I have found that it is not always necessary, however, to get up on my soapbox and explain my choices to everyone who inquires about what my daughter is eating, or how much longer I plan to breastfeed, or if she is 'sleeping through the night', or why she isn't sleeping in a crib or you fill in the blank. As a new mother, when I had made a new discovery, like co-sleeping for example, I think I told everyone in my family that we had finally decided that the family bed was right for us. Well, boy did that stir up a controversey! From that point on, whenever someone in my family asked, "Is she sleeping in her crib?" we just told them, "Yes, she sleeps 8 to 10 hours a night in her crib, like an angel." They did NOT need to know that OUR angel was cuddling up right between us in our big bed. We were snug as 3 bugs in a rug and no one needed to know about it.

When it comes to breastfeeding, however, I never back down on this one. Here is an issue I am not only personally passionate about, but I intend to remain passionate about this for the sake of ALL children who deserve to be fed as nature intended. I believe all infants deserve their mother's milk. It is optimum nutrition to which all other substitutes are pitifully inferior. I will continue to breastfeed until my daughter self-weans and I am proud to discuss it with anyone who is interested. I have many reasons for doing so and am always happy to discuss it. Although I believe it is really no one's business how I choose to feed my child, I do believe that it is important not to be ashamed of breastfeeding and extended-breastfeeding. I truly believe that my attitude and confidence in my choice to continue breastfeeding has a positive impact for women around me who choose to breastfeed. I also hope to encourage new mothers by sharing my story with them so that they will be more informed and better prepared to breastfeed their own children.

The copyright of the article Choosing My Battles in Natural Family Health is owned by Lara E. Kaskabas. Permission to republish Choosing My Battles in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.