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When are you going to stop nursing that baby?

© Lara E. Kaskabas

When my daughter was six months old I remember sitting in my grandparents' living room listening to my grandfather spout the "wisdom" of a doctor he had seen on television who advised not to breastfeed a child past six months of age. I couldn't imagine what doctor would recommend such nonsense considering that the American Academy of Pediatrics is now recommending that children be breastfed for two years, up from their previous recommendation of one year. I thought once I had weathered that storm of criticism it would be free-sailing. Well, now that my baby is approaching the end of her first year, it seems as though everyone has an opinion about when I should wean her.

This brings up several questions for me: Why is it anyone else's business what or how I feed my baby? Why is breastfeeding such an emotionally charged issue -- and why is it so offensive to some people?

The truth is, although it is certainly not anyone else's business what I feed my daughter, or how I feed my daughter, people tend to have very strong opinions about child-rearing and unless we start respecting the difference in opinion of each individual family and what they believe is right for their children, we are going to keep banging our heads up against this wall time and again. And, believe me, it's no fun. I hate feeling as though I am some kind of freak when I am around my relatives who disagree with our parenting decisions. I resent the fact that they have made ME feel uncomfortable when I want to feed my daughter; to such an extent that I will avoid feeding her in their presence even if it means making her wait up to an hour until we have some privacy for breastfeeding. I hate the fact that something I know in my heart to be good, right and a loving, nurturing decision is viewed as strange and somehow deviant behaviour that could possibly harm my child when that is the farthest thing from the truth.

The fact is, I have to deal with this in the best way I know how -- to lovingly say to my grandparents and other relatives who disagree with my parenting decisions, "I understand how you feel about this and I'm glad that you care enough about me to tell me what you think. I thought about this for a long time and came to the decision that this is the best thing for my baby."