Moving On

There are some situations in our musical lives that can strangle our creativity, given half a chance, so we need to simply not allow them that power. Loved ones will leave us, either from death or leaving a relationship, bandmates will decide they don't like our style, bosses may fire us, and we may find doors once open slammed in our face. Sure, people can quote at us all they like about people like Einstein, Edison and Lincoln about sticking with it, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurts, and we feel a bit of temporary paralysis and numbness over this. First, it's okay to feel those feelings, second, you will get past this like you have everything else that has gotten in your way, and third, it can only help your songwriting. Here are a few ideas to let you see this.

MINT TEA AND ASPIRIN

Okay, it hurt. So write how much it hurt. As I've said before, extreme emotions are a great excuse to write a song, or at least journal-they are proven stress reducers. Take the fact that you had a bandmate quit the group as a time to write down what was good and bad about the person being there, dissect it to bits, and figure out how you can prevent this from happening in the future. You can use this data to help you pick out an even better person when you feel ready for a tryout, or maybe try networking with pals of other bandmates this time, instead of using an ad, or simply not doing what you did last time. If someone has died, do something fun to celebrate their life, and force yourself to remember all the fun times, not just dwell on any bad parts, and have a little party if that helps to remind yourself that you still have friends, other family, other pets or other blessings in your life that are still there and deserve you still there for them. Losing a job is just losing a job-it may hurt, but it's a great excuse to get out and find a job you really love, and maybe even something in the music business, not just the one you might have not liked, anyway, that was just bringing home the bacon in exchange for your happiness. It is a proven fact that people who love their jobs tend to do much better at them than ones who are just there for the money, and, sadly, are often the ones who do get axed, so don't repeat that mistake-get out and find out how to get that one you wanted in the first place, and learn to get by on less while you are at it. We tend to forget that the best musicians often spend weeks or months on the road living out of a single suitcase-if you sell off some of the clutter around the house when you need some cash you pay bills without a job, find you have more breathing space in your place, and go on interviews with a much more sincere smile on your face instead of a look of desperation. In other words, do something while in pain that will rid you of the pain, not just cover it up.

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