What's Love Got To Do WIth It?

WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? Love, or a lack of it, can really affect a songwriter. From my experience, it seems that people in solid relationships have a much more productive musical life, in both a qualitative and quantitative sense. Here are a few reasons why I think this way, and what you can do about it to help your music.

GOT A RELATIONSHIP? KEEP IT!

If you already have a person at home, this makes things so much easier. All you need to do is be considerate and pay them a little quality attention every day, even if it is just a kiss at the door on your way out, or a hug when you get home. Like rehearsals, a little preventative affection goes a long way in keeping your person happy. I've seen more hit songs written about the love that one has than the one they hope for or the one that got away-people like to hear about real things, positive things. Sure, people may be tempted by some bit of candy in the audience one night, and it's fine to look and think, but most of us will agree they'd rather have a big steak dinner with all the trimmings than fill up on Halloween candy. Forget the health aspects, one is simply more filling and satisfying than the other. Taking the extra time to keep your significant other is far easier than finding a new person, in most cases. They don't even have to like your music any more than they like your day job--if they are happy that you are happy, that is enough.

ARE YOU IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?

If they aren't supportive, and nitpick at everything you do and paying them more attention doesn't help, perhaps then and only then are you in a toxic relationship that needs reevaluation. People like that won't be happy no matter what you do, and need to learn to like themselves before they can share that love with others-try to avoid a relationship with these "paper dolls" at all costs. Many of these people seem pretty on the outside, but they are often critical of others because they hate and can't bear to look at themselves. Be on the lookout for people whose hair and clothes are just too trendy or perfect, and who spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom or shopping. They will often spend huge amounts of money thinking an outfit, accessory or mate is all they need to be happy, but once they get it, they just toss it off for the next one when it doesn't help them, either. Many have eating disorders, drug/alcohol problems and/or are just plain depressed from their bad image problems. You can't "save" them-it's something that will only happen if they learn to look at and love the person that they are. As a musician, you need someone with a solid foundation that will be there when you need them, accept you warts and all, and who you care for even if they are a "flawed" person. Since most of us musicians are poor and struggling, this is the person that will stick with you, not dump you the moment you lose your fame and fortune...think about that.

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