Putting Up With Nonsense

Being a songwriter, next to being a garbage collector and just about every noxious job that might come to mind, is easily one of the most maligned occupations one could choose. If you mention it outside of your circle of musical acquaintances and friends, you will probably be assumed to be a drug addict, a loser, or a lazy person who refuses to "get a real job," even if you have a "real job" to make ends meet. You might also be accused of being mentally ill and passed over when you apply for jobs because people think you are unstable because you have dreams of making it as a musician someday. If you are halfway attractive, many people will also assume that you are sexually loose and are somehow getting far more action than they are, dating-wise, and this will often leave you on the losing end of a lot of vicious rumors, even if you are a regular church attendee and sing Christian rock. If you want to make it in music, though, this is just part of the abuse you will have to endure, so, unfortunately, you will just have to get used to it. Here are a few strategies you might try to help you cope without having to succumb to the drugs and alcohol or psychiatric care so many assume we rely on, anyhow.

IGNORE IT

This is the hardest thing to do, but it is also often the most effective. Even if people are saying really vicious things right to your face, it is really better to just remain calm and cool and act as if you didn't hear a word they said, or else calmly tell them, "No, that isn't true, and I'm sorry you choose to feel that way." The most important thing is to remain in control, just like you would have to if heckled by an audience member, and just play your part as best you can. If you have ever seen or heard any of the really famous musicians being grilled by really heartless interviewers or call-in fans, you know exactly what I mean. Try to listen to as many of these as you can, and note how the pros handle all the chain pulling they get. Be gracious, and, if you study psychology at all, you know that these vicious people are doing this because they envy you, and are to be pitied, because they are the ones with the problem, not you. Cut them the slack you wish they would you, and some might even remember how nice you were even though they were acting like total creeps. Someday, hopefully, especially if it was done in a public venue, they will come to really regret their actions as everyone who heard them teases them about what a jerk they were. Smile as you think of this-it will drive them batty.

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