Working with MS: A Telling Experience
"What's wrong with you?"
My co-worker stared at me quizzically as I hobbled onto the elevator. And with good reason. Just the day before I had presented a completely normal appearance to the world. I was now leaning precariously on a single crutch, wearing a black eye patch to spare me from the double vision. I must've looked like I was auditioning for the "Pirates of Penzance."
My immediate response to her completely valid question surprised us both with the velocity of anger, fear, and disingenuousness it conveyed-
"NOTHING!"
Nothing? She gave me a once-over, blinked hard, and stared ahead in silence for the remainder of the interminable elevator ride. I smoldered with anger at myself for responding in such a harsh way to a perfectly innocent question. But at that moment I simply couldn't help it. It had been a very trying month for me. This MS attack had arrived with the force of a tidal wave. I hadn't had much time to get used to my new diagnosis, and even less time to figure out how to manage it in the workplace. But I knew that I had to get a handle on the situation and learn some coping skills or risk alienating my colleagues and becoming fodder for water cooler gossip.
My job situation was mine alone, and my way of disclosing my MS may not be right for anyone else. But I can share with you the concepts that helped me to decide the who, when, and what of revealing my MS at work.
Who to Tell
It was much easier telling my family and close friends about my illness. I trusted their ability to handle the information, and never doubted their love and concern for me. Knowing that my loved ones have my best interests at heart made the disclosures of MS straightforward.
My family was privy to my bouts of illness over the years, and they were as relieved as I was to finally have a firm diagnosis and a plan of treatment action. But I knew that telling my co-workers would be fraught with worry. Who at my job could I trust with this ultimately personal information?
The National Multiple Sclerosis Society's booklet, FACTS & ISSUES: On Disclosing Your MS, is a must-read for this topic. It voices the concern in deciding whom to tell about an MS diagnosis:
"Telling family, friends ... involves telling people you know and trust and who (you hope) care for you. The emotional climate of the workplace is different. There you confront the question of disclosure in the context of concern about your present and future livelihood. Yet, even at work, the degree to which you feel safe, comfortable, and trusting will help guide your decision about if, how, and when you will tell."
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