A New Begining?
What I did was, I put one foot in front of the other and did what was in front of my face. I also took a lot of time outs to play video games on my computer, to watch TV and to take the dog for long walks. I allowed others to help me when they could and let them know how appreciative I was when they did. I kept in mind that even as I am struggling to maintain my composure, my pets were having an equally hard time and I needed to be there for them. These much loved responsibilities of mine have helped me so much! Animals have a way of helping us to remain focused. If it hadn't been for my cat and dog, I would have probably wound up in the hospital. But they needed me, and I needed to be there for them. Having to learn to care for a pet should be a required part of every treatment program. Those who get past the desire to kill the little sucker will gain a companion that gives as much as it needs. Having a relationship with a pet is probably the best way to experience unconditional love.
Now that I am in my new place, and have finally struggled through the sea of boxes that actually did descend on me, I am faced with a new problem. Now, that I am becoming more capable of responding to life's little earthquakes, I may wind up being dropped from the mental health program in my state. Because I am no longer critical, no longer in crises, I may no longer qualify for treatment. If I am dropped from the treatment, I loose my housing. HUD, in this state, has a five year waiting list. I still have not qualified for HUD housing. Ooops! Do I feel another earthquake coming?
One of the reasons I am doing so well, is because I am still in a protective environment. My needs are being met. I really don't want to find out if I can survive without any support! I would really like to have about five years to readjust my life and set productive patterns that will insulate me from events such as this. I need to feel confident that I can take care of myself, that I can maintain a productive pattern for a prolonged period. Recovery, no matter how
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