Victimhood - A Dead End To Recovery

        Through attending meetings I discovered that I was not as unique as I thought I was. I learned that others were laboring under incredible burdens when they finally decided to come to AA. I learned that people can overcome anything if they are willing to work the steps on it, honestly, openly and willingly. The is the HOW of How It Works.

        When I finally got a sponsor I discovered that the foundation of that HOW is Personal Responsibility. I learned that if I didn't admit I had a problem, I would stay sick. I learned that taking responsibility for my life and my actions meant that I had to stop being a victim. For me, it was the only way to stop myself from spiraling down into a bog of self pity that poisoned my heart, my thinking and my very soul. It was the only way for me to find someone with whom I could share all that poison and release the energy that was all tied up in that.

        Sponsors are sponsors because they have managed to walk through this stuff and come out the other side much the better for it. I learned that sponsors could teach me more about myself then I would have ever thought to look at. They have seen it, over and over again, and they knew what I was going through. When they told me what they did, I tried it on for size. If it didn't feel comfortable, or didn't ring true for me, I found another sponsor, but I didn't chuck the program. The program isn't about sponsors, it's about recovery, it about the steps that help you to do that.

        Of course, it was the second step that turned me every which way but loose. I kept thinking, "the world would be a better place for me if there weren't so many people trying to shove this "God Thing" at me". I meditated on that for a while, because it was really getting to me. After some time I came to the realization that the only way that the universe can function is through the law of Unity Through Diversity. The universe is made up of all sorts of stuff and it all works together because there is balance. Balance doesn't mean I always get my way, it means that everything has a purpose and a lesson to teach me and I need to function accordingly.

        Those

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