One of the basic processes of the Twelve Step
Programs is the sharing of one's experience, strength and hope. This is
the basis of the Twelfth Step. This process is for those who have completed
the all of the previous eleven steps, for only then does the individual
have the experience, strength and hope to share. By the time one has completed
the fourth and fifth steps, of taking a fearless and searching moral inventory
of themselves and sharing that inventory with God and another human being,
one generally discovers how their experience, no matter how bad, can be
used to assist others. If nothing else, they can see, through the willingness
of their "sponsor" to listen without judgement, to show care and concern
without "coddling", that there is hope for them in the area of forging
healthy relationships. They can also see that in sharing their deepest
secrets, their mistakes and their pain that they actually gain the strength
to cope with the past without shutting the door on it.
Greater strength comes when one can admit that they have actually harmed others with their behaviors and gather the intestinal fortitude to make amends. Nevertheless, one needs to realize that the art of making amends is not just apologizing for ones behaviors, but rather seeking ways through which to compensate those that were harmed. As the amends phase reaches it climax, an enormous weight is lifted from the mind, the emotions and the soul. Self pity and self blame take a back seat to the wonderful new sense of freedom and the knowledge that one is able to begin again, with a clean slate.
Finally, in finding the peace that comes from self forgiveness, and a sense of forgiveness from ones chosen Higher Power, one can then reach out to that Higher Power for guidance, understanding and an inner strength. As one becomes able to do this they discover a social and spiritual connectedness that has been lacking all their lives.
As the result of this social and spiritual connectedness, one is not only able to see the suffering of those around them, but one is also able to see how one's own experiences, past pain and loneliness is reflected in the lives of those who still suffer. It becomes easy to relate to the pain of others without condemning them, and it also becomes easier to address the issues of honesty and personal responsibility. When one sees how their own lack of honesty and willingness to take personal responsibility for their actions contributed heavily to their illness, they are able to understand and accept the fears that overwhelm those who are yet unable to face this issue in their own lives.
Greater strength comes when one can admit that they have actually harmed others with their behaviors and gather the intestinal fortitude to make amends. Nevertheless, one needs to realize that the art of making amends is not just apologizing for ones behaviors, but rather seeking ways through which to compensate those that were harmed. As the amends phase reaches it climax, an enormous weight is lifted from the mind, the emotions and the soul. Self pity and self blame take a back seat to the wonderful new sense of freedom and the knowledge that one is able to begin again, with a clean slate.
Finally, in finding the peace that comes from self forgiveness, and a sense of forgiveness from ones chosen Higher Power, one can then reach out to that Higher Power for guidance, understanding and an inner strength. As one becomes able to do this they discover a social and spiritual connectedness that has been lacking all their lives.
As the result of this social and spiritual connectedness, one is not only able to see the suffering of those around them, but one is also able to see how one's own experiences, past pain and loneliness is reflected in the lives of those who still suffer. It becomes easy to relate to the pain of others without condemning them, and it also becomes easier to address the issues of honesty and personal responsibility. When one sees how their own lack of honesty and willingness to take personal responsibility for their actions contributed heavily to their illness, they are able to understand and accept the fears that overwhelm those who are yet unable to face this issue in their own lives.
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