BITE ME, GEORGE LUCAS: a MYHS editorial
So after the “new and improved” STAR WARS, I was pretty much livid. But I knew not the heights to which my anger could grow until I saw the ending of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. Let me refresh your memory about the original ending: Luke is hanging off of the walkway, hand chopped off, with Darth Vader standing above him. Vader offers Luke the choice to come over to the Dark Side. In one of the ballsiest moves of defiance ever, Luke looks at Vader and just lets go of the walkway. No words, no noise… he just drops, sending a loud and clear message of “F--- You” to the Empire. What a great scene. To this day, one of my favorite movie moments. Now, what does Lucas do to ruin it? In the new version, when Luke lets go of the walkway, he screams. Why? WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!! Why would he put that in there? It makes it seem as if Luke was about to go over to the Dark Side, but slipped at the last minute. It’s utterly boneheaded moves like this that prove that Lucas just got lucky with the first three movies, but really has no idea what in the hell he’s doing.
EPISODE ONE: THE ANIMATED CHILDRENS FEATURE
Yes, I’ll admit, I was first in line to see THE PHANTOM MENACE when it came out. Hell, can you blame me? It was historic. Finally, we would get to see what came before. How everything in the STAR WARS universe got started. The word “disillusionment” comes to mind. Leaving the theater, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed at the stunning mediocrity of it all. About the only things the movie has going for it are a pretty nifty villain and one, ONE, decent light saber battle. Lucas relied too much on computer animation to tell a non-existent story and, to make matters worse, decided to put in tons of comic relief and juvenile humor, aimed squarely at the toy-buying demographic. And let’s not even get started on Jar-Jar, the worst idea in movie history. The entire movie smacked of a sell-out, leaving all of the fans in the dust, wondering where the George Lucas of the ‘70’s had gone too.
IN SUMMATION
Too me, Lucas is now very much akin in my mind to Michael Jackson. Both are men who used to be talented. However, sometime in the last decade, they
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