GUEST Columnist!!!! - Braden Walker reviews THE SPECIALS

I was working late. My job as a reporter for the Weekly Satellite required a lot of late nights. Tomorrow¹s deadline was fast approaching as I hammered away on the keyboard.

SUDDENLY ... My pants hummed. Well to be more specific the secret signal in my belt buckle hummed. Nevertheless, it was a call to action. I tapped the micro-switch in my glasses, sending them into Com-mode. The visi-screen flickered on and an image of my supervillain arch-nemesis, Dastardly Davis, filled my vision.

³Byline,² he whispered, ³I need your help.²

***

Rejoice, movie fans! While your usual columnist traverses the wilds of ... Sweden ... I, Braden Walker am here to make sure that you do not go without film criticism! This week¹s movie: THE SPECIALS. Finally, a film that tackles the tough questions: What makes super heroes tick? What do they talk about between battles? Are tights impractical, and if so, what is a cost-effective tight-substitute?

THE SPECIALS is best described thus: MYSTERY MEN meets A FUNNY SCRIPT. Now some of you may object that MYSTERY MEN was just fine, and to you I say, ³No.² The funny moments in MYSTERY MEN were as a whole provided by the actors, not the writing. Fortunately with THE SPECIALS, you get the best of both: good performances of good writing. The cast is headed by Thomas Haden Church (don¹t let the box fool you -- Rob Lowe only plays a supporting role.) Joining him are a cast of mostly unknowns. The two exceptions would be Kelly Coffield (IN LIVING COLOR), and Jamie Kennedy (³Randy² in the SCREAM trilogy.)

Like MYSTERY MEN, THE SPECIALS are a group of super hero rejects. The only thing it¹s members have in common is that all the other super groups won¹t take them. The plot of this film is sound, but it takes a backseat to the general kookiness (that¹s right, I said ³kookiness²) of it¹s characters. From ³Mr. Smart² -- a self-proclaimed genius that lacks common sense -- to ³U.S. Bill² -- the world¹s strongest idiot -- each character is funny in his/her distinct way.

But for those of you who hunger for -- nay, lust after -- a plot synopsis, you shall be sated. THE SPECIALS opens with the group meeting it¹s newest member, Nightbird (played by Jordan Ladd, this year¹s winner of Braden Walker¹s prestigious ³Actress I Most Enjoy Seeing in her Underwear² Award.) It becomes quickly apparent that everything is not well with the group. It¹s leader, The Strobe (Thomas Haden Church), is even considering giving up crime fighting and using his superpower -- the ability to shoot lasers from his arms -- to obtain a welding position in the plastics industry.

Go To Page: 1 2