1. They Hop – Really, they hop, not unlike a rabbit or a kangaroo. I have no idea why, specifically, they do this, but it’s apparently quite common and accepted there. The image of a room full of hopping vampires is, to date, one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a looooong time. 2. Red Dots and Yellow Paper – If you put a red dot or a piece of yellow paper on a vampire’s forehead, they’ll freeze. Again, I have no idea why or what significance this is supposed to have, although to it’s credit, it does lead to some pretty cool martial arts stuff as they try to get said dot or paper on the vampire. 3. Don’t Breathe - Okay, this one is pretty cool. If there’s a vampire in the room, hold your breath. He won’t be able to see you. Thing is, we, as humans, can only hold our breath for so long, leading to much suspense and terror. I tip my hat to them for that bit of lore. Just a good gimmick.
Those are the basic rules. There are others, like one that involves string dipped in chicken blood that acts as an electric fence and a thing with sticky rice, but it’s much more complicated that I care to be right now. Suffice to say it’s quite amusing to see sticky rice exalted as the big bad vampire weapon. So by now, you’re probably wondering about the plot of this movie, this “MR. VAMPIRE.” Well… thing is, the plot is a little hard to follow. It involves guys fighting the living dead and there’s stuff in there about masters and their servants, but really, the plot is about eighth on the list of important things about the movie. What is important is the fighting and the nifty vampire lore. So pay no mind to the random entrances and exits of characters and also, pay no attention to the ape that appears and chases the characters at one point (sadly, I’m not kidding)
Alright, I believe that that about does it for this week’s journey into the realm of funky films. I hope you check this out, but I should say that it’s really not for everyone. Some people (one of my best friends included) find Asian cinema so awful that, rather than be subjected to it, they will beat themselves unconscious with cudgel of some sort. But I assure you that this is a good one, so if you like that sort of thing, go forth and discover the beauty of MR. VAMPIRE.
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