MR. VAMPIRE: Hop, hop, hopping along....
There are few things in this world that fascinate me more than vampires. Now, that statement would lead some of you out there in cyber-land to picture me as a pale-faced, black-clad gothic prince, eyes smudged with shoplifted black mascara, lips snarled and pierced, my whole demeanor clouded by the notion that I am in league with the Dark One himself. However, I assure you that’s not the case. In all actuality, I dress like an Old Navy ad made human, but that’s not the point. The point is… I’m fascinated by vampires. It’s the mythology that gets me. And when I say “mythology,” I don’t intend to conjure up images of the Greek and roman myths; i.e. anything involving the smiting of puny mortals or weird two-headed bird things. No, when I say “mythology,” I mean the lore and rules that surround the vampire myth. As far as your modern day, “Vuppie” (Vampire Urban Professional) is concerned, there are a few basic rules which apply to pretty much any given situation:
1. Sunlight is bad. 2. Stakes through the heart; very bad. 3. No reflection. 4. Holy water; also not good. 5. Vamps drink blood.
We, as Americans, accept that, whenever a new vampire movie or show comes along, these Rules will in one way or another, figure into the plot. We’re comfortable with them and they, in return, are comfortable with us. Well, all that has changed for me. My world, as far as vampire-related matters are concerned, has been turned upside down.
The movie this week is MR. VAMPIRE, a little horror/martial arts gem from our friends in Hong Kong. Before that, though, a word on Hong Kong cinema. I tell you, there must be something in the water over there, because for the last thirty years or so, they have been putting out some seriously weird films. Not just weird… horrifying. The blood, guts and gore thrown around during your average film from Hong Kong at least rivals the great Troma studio films, if not surpasses them. In my humble, dime-store analysis, I think this has something to do with the extreme repression they’ve got going on over there. These people are told all there lives that being different is bad, being like everyone else is good and any deviation from the norm will result in, at the very least, bringing mortal shame to your ancestors. It’s only natural for a few people living in those conditions to snap, throw their clenched fists in the air and make some movies that involve people punching through other people (I’m referring to THE STORY OF RIKI, a movie that will soon grace these pages with it’s presence).
Latest Articles