DON'T DRINK THE WATER: Unseen Allen© Clinton Davis
May 22, 2001
So here we are again, my fellow traversers of the movie-plains (don’t worry, I don’t know what that means either). I’m proud, dear readers, PROUD to present this week’s movie to you, simply because I was under the impression that I would never get to share with you a film by this certain director. As long as I’ve been a movie “Super-fan,” I’ve been a rabidly loyal follower of Woody Allen. If I had to pin it all down, I would have to say that he is, for my money, the best writer/director out there. Now, there are those of you out there that turn your collective noses up at the very mention of Mr. Allen, be it because you have let the pesticide of his bad press coverage seep into the top soil of your mind, or you just think his style is annoying. Well, either way, you may all go away because this column, for the week, is going to be all about the placing on a pedestal of Mr. Woody Allen, uber-director!!! And maybe later, we’ll sacrifice a goat in his honor and dance around a maypole. You never know. Just be sure to have a back-up pair of pants handy, just in case.
As I mentioned earlier, I am delighted and surprised that I can use a film of his in this column. Allen, for the most part, is pretty well known, as are his films, which makes it really difficult to write about him within the confines of this column. However, I’ve found a movie of his that was all but ignored by the public at large due to one tiny, yet crucial, fact… it was presented on network television. Now, I should say for the record that I am a huge supporter of TV. I fanatically watch many shows, such as THE WEST WING and BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and I endlessly lecture some of my more snobby compatriots about the merits of said medium. However, just as orangutans don’t belong on the Supreme Court, Woody Allen films don’t belong on TV. They walk to the beats of different drummers and that’s just the way it is. Allen’s films are best viewed in small, artsy theaters that only show films in other languages, coupled with documentaries about important issues such as war and famine. I love these kind of theaters, if for no other reason than I can be as pretentious as I want and still not top the Herculean levels of self-importance that drip from most of the other patrons in the seats next to me. You know who I’m talking about. The pony-tailed, bearded professors from the local college that teach classes with titles like Minor Works of Dead Czech Poets or The Media and The Holocaust: A Comparison. These are the dorks that weep openly during German Expressionist films, because they feel so deeply for the main character's plight. Like they have ever seen hardships in their lives. Tragedy to them is when the latest Phish CD is sold out at Tower Records. Whatever… anyways, I’m about thirty miles off-track, so what say we veer back to the movie this week.
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The copyright of the article DON'T DRINK THE WATER: Unseen Allen in Underappreciated Movies is owned by Clinton Davis. Permission to republish DON'T DRINK THE WATER: Unseen Allen in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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