Drop Dead Gorgeous | The Haunting | Inspector Gadget

Not many of the effects are scary. Three scenes involving a huge walk-in fireplace have good "boo" potential, but no substance. The haunting, even after Eleanor's personal history regarding the house is revealed, remains an illogical string of random events. Why do the manifestations happen only at night? (Because that's what happens in Hollyweird ghost stories.) Why were these kinds of manifestations chosen? (No apparent reason.) You may laugh more than gasp, especially at Zeta-Jone's lip-smacking bisexual and the illogical goings-on. None of the "scares" build on each other -- the significance of the skeleton in the fireplace and the recreation of Eleanor's mother's sickroom are lost in the incoherent script. The final confrontation between Eleanor and the ghost is also laughable, carrying no menace and the silliest resolution I've seen since, say, Speed 2.

One aspect to praise is Eugenio Zanetti's production design (he also worked on What Dreams May Come). His rococo design, incredibly detailed bas-relief walls and doors, and ever present statuary contribute greatly to the movie's sense of scale. Some bits are over-designed (Eleanor's bedroom, the staircase, the grand fireplace room), but it's all terrific eye candy that thankfully distracts from De Bont's effects-heavy hodgepodge. It makes one speculate when Zanetti will be allowed to work on a movie worthy of his talents.

RATING: *1/2

At one point during Inspector Gadget, the mayor (played by Saturday Night Live's terminally unctuous Cheri Oteri) yells, "What kind of a cyberfreak are we dealing with?" A corpthink cyberfreak, that's what. Product placement run amok -- the script contains overt references to other Disney movies, and to itself as a Disney product. "I feel like a post-modern Captain Hook," Rupert Everett chortles after experimenting with his new mechanical claw. "Wear your seatbelt, it's a Disney movie," the Gadgetmobile (voice of D.L. Hughley) admonishes star Matthew Broderick. These kinds of references have been made in previous Disney flicks, but for some reason, they stick out awkwardly here, along with product placements involving Yahoo (complete with yodel) and kids' candy ("I got the Skittles kicked outta me," the car exclaims at one point). It's like the old joke about a camel being a horse built by committee. Movies are inherently a collaborative effort, but this stinkeroo feels like it was put together in post-production and not by director David Kellog.